The Beginning Again
by angiehodgins
Summary: This one is for all of you out there that want House and Cuddy to get together still! After House gets taken to detox will Cuddy come to him?


The Beginning Again

Sitting on the edge of her bed Lisa Cuddy ran her fingers through her hair. Life just wasn't the same without House. The hospital was quiet. Her personal life was even quieter. Not so long ago she would have give just about anything for a week free of Gregory House. But now… after a week free of him she felt different, off.

On a normal day she had to deal with House at least three times at work. Then one or two days a week he interrupted her life at home. She really hadn't realized how much she actually enjoyed his pestering. Ever since college in Michigan she'd felt something she just couldn't explain for him.

She'd never been able to express what she felt for him in any way that wasn't challenging. She'd never been able to say it to him. They were always just too busy with their banter, teasing each other and pulling pranks. Closing her eyes a moment she took a deep breath before she crawled under the blankets of her bed.

He had hallucinated. He had thought she had helped him detox from Vicodin and that after she had they had… done it. But it wasn't really that, the whole 'they did it' thing. It was the fact that he had known something was wrong in the hallucination. The whole seeing Amber thing and he had come to her for help. He'd chosen her over Wilson, his best friend. Why?

Shaking her head against her pillow she sighed and shifted to her side. She knew she wouldn't be able to figure out the why. She also knew she'd still be up most of the night trying to figure it out anyway.

--

He hadn't had any Vicodin for nearly twenty-four hours now. Amber had faded away only an hour ago. So for the past hour he had been able to think. Why had he hallucinated doing Cuddy? He knew that if he were to admit hallucinating Amber it would be to her. He would have asked her to help him detox, just as he had in his hallucination.

Everything in the hallucination was something he would have done. When it had turned out none of it had been real he had turned to her again. Told her and she had taken him to Wilson. Did that mean she wouldn't drop everything to help him like before? He really couldn't expect her to. She had a baby to think of now. One couldn't very well put a baby and its needs aside to help a hallucinating druggie doctor. He didn't expect her to either.

As he thought he came to a realization that had been hidden at the back of his mind. He loved Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Every time they were apart he strained to find some reason, any reason to go to her. But now, when he needed her the most he couldn't go to her. No matter how badly he wanted to.

--

Pulling up to the rehab center Cuddy took a deep breath. She hadn't been able to sleep at all the night before and after a day at the hospital her makeup barely covered the dark bags under her eyes. But she had to know why. Why her? Why did he come to her and not Wilson?

Shaking her head she parked and stepped from her car. Her questions would hopefully be answered with one visit to House. She really only needed one question answered and it really wasn't 'why'. It was 'did he love her too'?

Walking into the facility she asked to see House. She told them who she was and showed them ID before she was shown to House's room. She was scared to death of what he would be like. In some cases of detox the patient became extremely aggressive. In other cases they were nothing but a complete and utter mess.

As the orderly she followed stopped at a door she rubbed the palms of her hands over her sides nervously. Whatever state he was in she would find out shortly.

--

As the door to his room opened House looked up from his lounged position on the bed. He felt better and his spirits were high. He had been reminiscing of sorts on the time he and Lisa had shared at college. When she walked in he could see her the first time he met her. Almost like a flashback, yet not real enough for him to think he was hallucinating again.

It was only his reminiscing with his missing her thrown in. "What are you doing here?" he asked lightly, his voice gruff from little use in so many hours.

Closing the door behind herself Cuddy licked her lips. "I just came to see how you were doing," she replied. His demeanor didn't seem too bad on first look at least.

Looking her over he took a deep breath. Her hair looked more unmanageable than normal, her eyes deep and tired-looking. She looked like she was doing worse than he was. "Sit down," he said, motioning to a chair across from the bed. As she sat he pushed himself up. "That's a believable ploy for anyone who doesn't know us," he sighed. "So why are you really here?"

Sitting back in the chair Cuddy crossed her legs. "When you were hallucinating…" she began slowly, "… You came to me and I detoxed you at your apartment. Then you and I…"

"We did the bed sheet tango," said House helpfully.

Rolling her eyes Cuddy nodded, "Yeah, that." Licking her lips again she settled her gaze on House. "You wouldn't happen to know why you hallucinated that… would you?" she questioned.

Leaning his head back House closed his eyes. "Ever since the hallucinations stopped I have been trying to decipher them. To find out just why I hallucinated that," he admitted. There was a long stretch of silence before he looked back to her. She sat there, quietly watching him, not commenting on what he had just said. She was just waiting for him to finish. "I still don't know why it was Cutthroat bitch I was hallucinating," he said.

Sighing Cuddy leaned forward. "I'm sorry for you," she said in a mournfully sarcastic tone. "But can we get to the part where you changed some major things in your world… your hallucination of our world. I mean… you wouldn't have hallucinated that if it wasn't on your mind… somewhere."

Sitting up completely House lifted his leg over the side of the bed and sat on the edge facing Cuddy. "I thought about that part for a long time," he said evenly. "You think we could try out that sex?" he asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

"House, could you please be serious?" she sighed. He was reminding her so much of the Gregory House she had known before, when they had been younger and his leg had been fine.

"Okay… if I must," he said before he took a deep breath. "I think… ever sense our time in college you've been truly the only person I can completely trust. You've stuck by me for so long when other women would've run away, pulling their hair out." Smirking, his eyes gave a twinkle. "I guess you're the only woman I've found that I can't scare off," he admitted.

Nodding lightly Cuddy leaned forward a bit more. "Is that a good thing?"

Nodding, House gave a chuckle. "Yeah, that's a good thing." Locking his eyes on hers he could see emotions pass through them quickly. "I'm just wondering now why you stayed around. I wasn't nice at all when I broke everything off." Pausing, he sighed, "I hurt you Lisa. Not just in college. That was just the first time. Since then you keep letting me back in only to have me hurt you time after time. Why don't you just tell me to fuck off?"

Taking a shaky breath Cuddy clasped her hands together. "I don't know. I guess I just keep hoping you'll go back to the way you were one day… and if I push you away I won't be here…" Pausing, she took another shaky breath. "…If I'm not here then I would miss my chance," she admitted.

Frowning, House looked at her quizzically. "Miss your chance at what? A relationship with a man who is really nothing more then a big kid? A man who will inevitably hurt you?" he asked.

Breath catching, Cuddy shook her head. "No. That man I remember knew how to love and be loved. The man I have had to endure for the past few years is a man who has pulled into himself, thinking it will make him stronger," she corrected. "I want to tell him that no matter how strong you are… life isn't worth anything without love."

House was silent for a very long moment. "You mean… you, Lisa Cuddy, love me?" he questioned lightly.

"I don't know why, but I haven't stopped loving you since college," she admitted. "I've just been waiting for you."

Smiling lightly House looked down. "I think I remember this love thing," he said. "It made me want to see you. It made me want to protect you and soothe you when you were hurt."

Smiling, Cuddy scooted closer to him. "That's good. That's what you're supposed to feel," she eased. "You know you're sounding like your very old self," she pointed out.

Nodding, House, too, scooted closer. "I know. I'm feeling like that really old House… give or take," he added as he rubbed his leg. "But this feeling, it's making me want to do things I haven't done since college," he admitted.

"House, I am not having sex with you in a detox center," groaned Cuddy.

"No," said House evenly. "I want to kiss you and feel you wrapped in my arms."

Breath catching again she stood and unconsciously sat next to him on the bed. "Does that mean what I think it means?" she breathed as he began to close in for a kiss.

Stopping, his lips a whisper from hers, House smiled. "It means I love you Lisa Cuddy," he breathed.

"I love you Greg," she managed before his lips crushed down on hers, silencing any further talk.

FIN

A/N: Maybe the House M.D. People can run off of this for their season opener! Wink, Wink! Hey, a girl can dream!


End file.
